The Sexuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective feelings of attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

However when problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that numerous of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urban locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the This Site sex isn't going to be good?".

However, North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we Go Here cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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