The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to find more extremely tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, well-being, closeness, and love .

But when issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, Check Out Your URL "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing instead you could try here of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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