The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, closeness, and love .

However when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry special info is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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