The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective feelings of attraction, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main review searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with this gay males, says that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay males desire to find out from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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